I Just Want Love
by Haibara Kawaii
Summary: SPOILER ALERT! DON'T OPEN THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED V ROUTE. Ray doesn't deserve this. But there is nothing you could do, right?
1. Goodbye

Disclaimer: I do not own Mystic Messenger or the characters, I just own this story.

Rated: T

Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Angst

Notes: Someone once told me that they could write better than me as a five years old kid. English is my second language, but I tried my best, and at least my grammar mistakes are not too confusing that could make anyone dizzy.

 **SPOILER ALERT! DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED V ROUTE.**

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I was happy when I met you for the first time. You trusted me, and tested the game I made. There was not a single doubt given to me. Every time I visited you, it was the best moment of my life. To see your dazzling figure, and innocent attitude every day. Surely, I don't take you for granted. There was this horror inside me, haunting every seconds. What if you started to doubt me? What if you suddenly decided to leave me? What if you get bored of me? I knew I probably don't deserve you, but I want to be with you. Somehow I felt motivated around you, I thought that I can overcome so many things as long as I am with you. You made me stronger. I knew. Yes, I knew I was wrong when I tried to give you the ceremony drug. But that was the rule I had to obey, and there was nothing I could do about it. The only thing I want was for you to be happy. Nothing more.

Please tell me. What should I do to make it up to you? To earn back your trust. Please don't disappear, I need you... so much. Then again, all I could think of was gathering more flowers for you. I wanted to see your smile again. The smile you made and I wanted to be the reason behind that smile. But then, all of those hopes were lost the moment I saw you again on that day. The smile on my face vanished.

"I finally found you."

"V! Run, don't come here, this place is not safe!"

 **It's not fair.**

I was furious. The flowers I gathered for you had fallen to the ground. I couldn't believe you sided with him. You trusted him eventhough you just met him, everything else was just chats. How could I be any different? I was there for you all day and night. I was afraid I might lose you, I contacted the security guard in a jiffy. I was glad that I could save you from him. But you... think otherwise. You cared for him, you asked her everytime what are we going to do with him. Why?

 **I met you first.**

He is a stranger, isn't he? Why does it bother you so much? Why won't you love me? I cooked your favorite food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I showed you my work room to impress you. I thought about you every single time I was away from you and asked how are you doing in your room. I kept taking pictures of the flowers and the garden because I wanted to be there with you. There's no point if you are not there. Please... don't leave me.

"Here drink this." I gave him the drug of salvation.

"No." He refused.

"If not, I am sorry but I must force it to you." I gave him the water until it was half empty. He coughed harder and became weaker. Nothing worries me when I took him down, I was really relieved that I could stay with her without him interupting.

 **Yet, you chose him.**

You left both of us behind. You ran away with them. Am I... not good enough? Am I ugly? Am I not loveable? Am I not deserve to be loved? Tell me... what was it that you don't like about me..? I can change myself. I can be how you wanted me to be. Please come back. I missed you. Did you miss me as well?

"Did she abandon us?" Tears were flowing from my eyes. "Is it... over?" I tried to calm myself down but the weird lump on my throat gave me the sad feeling I couldn't just ignore.

"Ray..." she said with a soft voice. "Calm yourself, don't let Saeran take over you." But my sadness and anger at one time really hurt a lot. It was suffocating and my heart was cold.

 **Why are we bound to a relationship without love?**

I called you so many times to apologize if I had done anything wrong that made you hate me. But you said that you weren't mad at me. Then what made you leave me? Am I the bad one, after all the things that I had done to you? Did V trick you? But you simply said no. I wanted some answers but you just told me to snap out of it. I didn't want to hear anymore. Everytime I called you, you told me not to call again and not to come for rescue, you wanted to stay with V and the RFA. Tell me the reason why. I've waited so long for you, please don't take your heart away. My thoughts were spinning like crazy until I had a headache, but it hurts me more in the heart. I couldn't take it anymore, I had reached my limit. I passed out.

 **I am willing to suffer, as long as you will be mine.**

HAHAHAHA... I would go there to pick you up! No matter what, I would make you mine! If I ever noticed that you got your eyes on him, I would've drugged him until not a single drop left in the bottle! But Ray was just too weak and scared! He was so pathetic, he said he had a heartache and headache, how hilarious! I even had fun destroying his plants and the pot. Am I a monster? Yes! The social life made me a monster! I was going to take my revenge! Ah, your voice. It's soothing. I wanted to see you again. I wanted to hear your voice again. I wanted to touch you again. Ray said those disgusting things, didn't he? Stupid.

"Ray..." I worked on my computer day and night aggresively.

"Ray!" Such a disturbing voice. Go away!

"Saeran!" The moment she uttered the name, I finally stopped for a sec.

"Saeran you should eat and get some sleep." She begged.

"No." I refused. "Get out!"

Then she touched me. It's almost as soon as that happened I was perished.

 **My heart can not be divided,**

"Sorry... I let him take over me."

"It's okay now." She said. "Listen, I want you to do my last favor. Free the believers. I am going back to the apartment." She explained.

I did what she told me. I let all the believers ran away from the Mint-Eye building. The weather was nice, but there was nothing else I need to do. I called you. I told you that, after all of these incidents are over, I wanted to go get an ice cream, walk with you in the garden, stay forever for each other. But, I am sorry... they all turned into some sweet lies... unrequited love... I thought... I didn't have any purpose to live...

 **until I died. My feelings for you remains.**

Goodbye. My first and last love.


	2. Withered Flowers

SUPRISE! I've decided to make a 2nd chapter for this one-shot. Thank you Tear Droplet for reviewing this story. Now I want to make it more sadist. Let's just read the story, shall we?

 **SPOILER ALERT! DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED V ROUTE.**

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 **MC POV Bad After Ending**

It was raining. Seven's continuous scream fell on deaf ears. He was mourning while holding his twin's remainings. When he has finally calmed down, the RFA were giving their sympathy towards Seven. But in Seven's eyes, V and I were the one responsible for Ray's death. I did not know what V and I did wrong. It's his brother funeral day, Seven approached the both of us with a serious look. V and I've never seen him like that before. He was full of mixed anger and regret.

"This is all your fault!" Seven pointed his finger at me. "And yet," he was not finished. "It's my fault too from the beginning." He seemed to regret what he did to his brother.

"Enough, Luciel." V stood in front of me to guard me, in case Seven tried to lay his hands on me. Because he looked like he was out of control. Almost as if he just drank some wine. But his cheeks were not red, he was not drunk. "It's over now. There's nothing we can do."

"Lies! You know damn well!" Seven protested in tears. It felt like the Seven we knew that day was posessed. "You were there for him! I trusted you to take care of him!" Seven sobbed. He removed his glasses and wiped his tears with his jacket's sleeve.

"I am sorry." V apologized and tried to put his hand on Seven's shoulder. But Seven backed off.

"I think Rika was right. You are a hypocrite." He threw me a smart phone and left.

The cellphone looked familiar to me. Of course, it was Ray's phone. The screen was cracked, but the phone still worked. What could possibly made Seven hate us that way? Was there... something on Ray's phone? I unlocked the screen lock by typing "MintEye" and saw his wallpaper. His wallpapers and galleries are filled with my smiling photos. Until that day, I never knew he had a huge crush on me. Not even in a slightest thought. I don't think of him that way. I slided the screen to the left and I saw a bunch of labeled recordings. There were Day 1 until Day 10.

I glanced at V and he nodded. I pressed the Day 1 button. In a matter of seconds, came out a voice I'm pretty familiar with. It was Ray's voice.

"Day 1," Ray cleared his throat. "Her voice made my heart beat every seconds. When I met her, I'm afraid to fall in love. This is a job to get her to test out the game I made, nothing else's necessary. I should focus on my job."

We realized that it was Ray's diary in a recording. Then I tapped the Day 2 button.

"Day 2," Ray sounded a bit energetic and happy. "I cooked her my best dish and it turns out she loved it. I am so happy to be able to put a smile on her face. I feel a brighter future ahead of us. I just wished it would come true."

Ray... sorry I never noticed you felt that way. Then I tapped the Day 3 button.

"Day 3," Ray's voice showed anxiety. "I searched in every each of the rooms upstairs looking for her. I was so worried she might leave. So glad she didn't. The moment I found her by the window, she turned around and smiled at me, she said," Ray took another breath. "You caught me, aren't we playing hide and seek? She's cute but that act really triggered my attention."

I have no idea you were looking out for me. I touched the day 4 button.

"Day 4," Ray showed a tired kind of voice. "I am going to destroy V to pieces! The ceremony is ruined because of him! Curses!"

V gestured me to skip the day 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and just move on to day 9 recording. Because it's kind of disturbing, all he said was cursing V and Seven.

"Day 9," Ray's voice sounded kind of melancholy. "I am alone tonight... with no one beside me..." this recording was a bit different than the past recordings. Ray paused after every sentences. "This heart is empty... without you..." At this moment, his words felt so hard on me to take. "My love story is just like these withered flowers... they failed to grow..."

If only I was there for him. Would he change his mind? But what will happen to V in the hospital if I didn't look out for him too?

"Day 10," Ray's voice at this rate was full of disappointment. "Do you feel it...? The distance between us... because you chose him?"

Yes. I felt it. But... I thought you wouldn't mind...

"I don't believe it... you did this to me..." Ray continued. "I've never wanted our beautiful love to be over..."

I started to sob at my mistakes. V touched my back as I cried.

"Do you know how much you've hurt me...?" I can imagine Ray said the sentences with lots of tears. The weird lump on my throat appeared as my guilt's getting bigger. "You promised that you would stay with me forever... but you left... and never comeback..."

This part got a very long pause, I could hear the sound of Ray sobbing and was trying to catch his breath. Was I suffocating him?

"God... please erase these feelings..." he couldn't deal with the pain anymore. He was panting. "I also wanted to be happy... even if I must live... without her!" He screamed and broke into more tears.

The recording was still on, but Ray had stopped talking. All we could hear was his steps were going away. The last thing we heard was...

A blast.


End file.
